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CommentAuthorb0n3z
- CommentTimeAug 18th 2010
A man walks into a drug store with his 8 year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"
To which the man matter-of -factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son... Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh, I see," replied the boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school." He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"
The Dad replies, "Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday and one for Sunday."
"Cool, says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"
"Those are for college men." the Dad answers, "Two for Friday, Two for Saturday and Two for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks with bright eyes, picking up the 12 pack.
With a sigh, the Dad replied, "Those are for married men, one for January, one for February, one for March..."
Marchic: If a thread doesn't get hijacked it's just not Red Skies... BOOBIES FOR ALL!!!!!!!!!!! -
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CommentAuthorb0n3z
- CommentTimeAug 18th 2010
Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it
Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.
The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree... and think 25 to life would be appropriate
Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.
Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America!
Police in Texas arrested a man who was using the alias 'Barack Obama' while trying to steal money from 35 ATMs. They could tell something was up when a guy named Barack Obama was trying to take money from banks instead of giving it to them.
You know, it's hard to believe President Obama has now been in office for a year. Isn't that amazing? It's a year. And you know, it's incredible. He took something that was in terrible, terrible shape, and he brought it back from the brink of disaster: [b]The Republican party[/b]
Marchic: If a thread doesn't get hijacked it's just not Red Skies... BOOBIES FOR ALL!!!!!!!!!!! -
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CommentAuthorb0n3z
- CommentTimeAug 18th 2010
The Economy Is So Bad That...
- I got a pre-declined credit card offer in the mail.
- Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
- Parents in Bevery Hills are considering raising their own children.
- I saw the CEO of Wal-Mart shopping at Wal-Mart.
- Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.
- A prostitute asked me if she could borrow $20 until she can get back on her back.
- I saw a van full of legal immigrants illegally crossing the border into Mexico.
- I saw four CEOs playing miniature golf.
- Even people who aren't in Barack Obama's cabinet aren't paying taxes.
Marchic: If a thread doesn't get hijacked it's just not Red Skies... BOOBIES FOR ALL!!!!!!!!!!! -
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CommentAuthorb0n3z
- CommentTimeAug 18th 2010 edited
The World's Economic Viruses
Government Virus - Nothing seems to get better, but all the elected officials say it's getting better.
Political Virus - Doesn't actually do anything, but you can't get rid of it until the next election.
Econometrician Virus - Sixty percent of the economies infected will lose 17 percent of their GDP 12 percent of the time (+/- a 2% margin of error).
Marxian Virus - Helps your economy go into a depression whenever it wants to.
Environmental Virus - Before allowing you to fix the recession, it first asks you if you've considered the alternatives.
Chinese Virus - Crashes your economy, but denies it ever happened and calls you a liar.
AIG Virus - Makes sure it's too big to fail, while crashing everything else.
Stimulus Virus - Puts your economy in a recession for four years. When you finally recover, you're 10 trillion more dollars in debt.
Marchic: If a thread doesn't get hijacked it's just not Red Skies... BOOBIES FOR ALL!!!!!!!!!!! -
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CommentAuthorSubJunk
- CommentTimeDec 10th 2010
I love that this thread was started by bunneh! She is awesome
Friendship between women:
A woman didn't come home one night.
The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house.
The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew about it.
Friendship between men:
A man didn't come home one night.
The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house.
The woman called her husband's 10 best friends.
Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.
Runamok: hard to tell if you've hit the crazy dancing guy to be fair -
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CommentAuthorMagnetoz
- CommentTimeDec 11th 2010
A ladys water had just broke, and her husband coudln't be bothered to take her to the hospital so she had to walk... On the way there, she was mugged and shot in the stomach.
16 years later, one of her kids, which happened to be a girl said "Hey mum, guess what happened!" the mum replies "what honey?" "I was peeing and a bullet fell out.
Then her next kid, who also was a girl said "Hey mum, guess what happened!" the mum replies "what honey?" "I was peeing and a bullet fell out.
Then her 3rd kid who was a boy exclaims "Hey mum guess what happened?" "You peed and a bullet came out?" "No, I was jacking off and I shot the dog!"
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CommentAuthorRocket
- CommentTimeDec 12th 2010
SubJunk - Rocket teh ninja -
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CommentAuthorRoboBunniE
- CommentTimeDec 12th 2010
SubJunk:I love this thread, bunneh! She is awesome!
i no, thanks
blushes 
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CommentAuthorb0n3z
- CommentTimeDec 23rd 2010
sif my funnehs get no votes :(
Marchic: If a thread doesn't get hijacked it's just not Red Skies... BOOBIES FOR ALL!!!!!!!!!!! -
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CommentAuthorMagnetoz
- CommentTimeDec 31st 2010
Meh, there you go b0n3zyy. -
